Do you know why people like being single? Because they like the chase. They like working towards something they want. In the majority of cases, once they have it, they no longer want it. There isn’t a need to chase.
People will often ask a couple “who’s chasing who?” The argument is that one is always chasing the other. If a supermodel is dating a greasy nerd, then obviously the greasy nerd is the one chasing. How long is that relationship going to last? Who is the supermodel going to chase? She’s going to chase someone, but it won’t be the greasy nerd.
What if both partners were always chasing each other. If each partner always works to “out-do” the other, then both would feel like they were chasing, and being chased. I know what you’re thinking – “why do two people that love each other have to compete with one another? That’s like one-upping!” Look at it this way. If two college students constantly try to do better than each other throughout the semester, aren’t they each going to end up with a better grade than they would have had otherwise? It’s not “competing”, or “one-upping”. It’s simply doing your very best at whatever it is that you do. And when the competition is better, your performance has to be better (otherwise, you’re not competing.)
I wouldn’t consider myself to be an expert, or even a novice source of relationship advice, but I’ve seen some pretty serious relationships fail, and I’ve seen even more relationships continue on miserably (either for kids, fear of divorce, or just because it’s easier.) It doesn’t have to be like that. Unless you’re a crazy person, or you’re so stuck in your ridiculous ways that you can’t slightly modify a behavior just to please someone, you can make it better. If you’re a messy person, and your partner likes to keep things neat, figure out the better way. I think it’s obvious that cleaner is better, so the messy person should start being clean. Like nearly every other behavior, being messy is learned. You know what else can be learned? Being clean. If your partner happens to like having super green grass, then make it happen. Sure, it’s easier and cheaper to let the grass just die or burn. But it’s generally better to have green grass, and more importantly it’s going to make a difference with your partner.
If it seems like your partner wants a lot, step back and figure out if it actually is a lot. If you’re not sure, sit them down and ask them what exactly it is that they want. If it really is a lot, ask yourself if they’re doing it for the greater good (like just wanting a better life in general, and if they’re willing to help.) If they’re not, get rid of them because you’ll likely never make them happy.
The general principal of doing your best at whatever you do applies to everything. Don’t just do things, do things the best you can absolutely do them. Otherwise, get off this planet, because you’re just taking up space.